Skip to Content
Kristin Simmons Art
Home
Work
Fine Art
Collaborations
Commissions
Exhibitions
About
Artist Statement
Purpose Statement
CV
FAQs
Press
Articles
Podcasts
Testimonials
Videos
Shop
0
0
Kristin Simmons Art
Home
Work
Fine Art
Collaborations
Commissions
Exhibitions
About
Artist Statement
Purpose Statement
CV
FAQs
Press
Articles
Podcasts
Testimonials
Videos
Shop
0
0
Home
Folder: Work
Back
Fine Art
Collaborations
Commissions
Exhibitions
Folder: About
Back
Artist Statement
Purpose Statement
CV
FAQs
Folder: Press
Back
Articles
Podcasts
Testimonials
Videos
Shop
Shop If at First You Don’t Succeed it’s Only Attempted Murder Plate
Decorative vintage plate with humorous text in the center reading "If at first you don’t succeed it’s only attempted murder." Image 1 of 2
Decorative vintage plate with humorous text in the center reading "If at first you don’t succeed it’s only attempted murder."
Vintage-style decorative plate with floral design and the humorous text "If at first you don't succeed, it's only attempted murder." Image 2 of 2
Vintage-style decorative plate with floral design and the humorous text "If at first you don't succeed, it's only attempted murder."
Decorative vintage plate with humorous text in the center reading "If at first you don’t succeed it’s only attempted murder."
Vintage-style decorative plate with floral design and the humorous text "If at first you don't succeed, it's only attempted murder."

If at First You Don’t Succeed it’s Only Attempted Murder Plate

$45.00

Description

Add a touch of dark humor to your home with this vintage-style decorative plate. Featuring a charming floral design and the phrase "If at first you don't succeed, it's only attempted murder," this plate is perfect for those who love quirky and edgy decor. It’s an ideal unique gift or a playful addition to your kitchen or living room.

Features

🌸 Vintage-Style Design: This decorative plate combines a delightful floral pattern with a humorous, edgy statement for a unique look.

😎 Bold Statement: Featuring the phrase "If at first you don't succeed, it's only attempted murder," this plate adds a touch of dark humor to your decor.

🎁 Unique Gift Idea: Ideal for those who appreciate humor and individuality, this plate makes a memorable gift.

🖼️ Versatile Decor: Perfect for kitchens, dining rooms, or living spaces, this plate brings personality and humor to any room.

What Makes This Great

This decorative plate blends vintage charm with modern humor, making it a perfect piece for those who love to stand out. Whether as a conversation starter or a fun gift, this plate will bring personality and a touch of irreverence to your home decor.

HEADS UP, Fancy Pants…

The plate you’re drooling over in the photo? Yeah, that’s a sample. What you’ll get is the same killer design, but on a unique, one-of-a-kind plate from our stash. You’re welcome.

Quantity:
Add To Cart

Description

Add a touch of dark humor to your home with this vintage-style decorative plate. Featuring a charming floral design and the phrase "If at first you don't succeed, it's only attempted murder," this plate is perfect for those who love quirky and edgy decor. It’s an ideal unique gift or a playful addition to your kitchen or living room.

Features

🌸 Vintage-Style Design: This decorative plate combines a delightful floral pattern with a humorous, edgy statement for a unique look.

😎 Bold Statement: Featuring the phrase "If at first you don't succeed, it's only attempted murder," this plate adds a touch of dark humor to your decor.

🎁 Unique Gift Idea: Ideal for those who appreciate humor and individuality, this plate makes a memorable gift.

🖼️ Versatile Decor: Perfect for kitchens, dining rooms, or living spaces, this plate brings personality and humor to any room.

What Makes This Great

This decorative plate blends vintage charm with modern humor, making it a perfect piece for those who love to stand out. Whether as a conversation starter or a fun gift, this plate will bring personality and a touch of irreverence to your home decor.

HEADS UP, Fancy Pants…

The plate you’re drooling over in the photo? Yeah, that’s a sample. What you’ll get is the same killer design, but on a unique, one-of-a-kind plate from our stash. You’re welcome.

Description

Add a touch of dark humor to your home with this vintage-style decorative plate. Featuring a charming floral design and the phrase "If at first you don't succeed, it's only attempted murder," this plate is perfect for those who love quirky and edgy decor. It’s an ideal unique gift or a playful addition to your kitchen or living room.

Features

🌸 Vintage-Style Design: This decorative plate combines a delightful floral pattern with a humorous, edgy statement for a unique look.

😎 Bold Statement: Featuring the phrase "If at first you don't succeed, it's only attempted murder," this plate adds a touch of dark humor to your decor.

🎁 Unique Gift Idea: Ideal for those who appreciate humor and individuality, this plate makes a memorable gift.

🖼️ Versatile Decor: Perfect for kitchens, dining rooms, or living spaces, this plate brings personality and humor to any room.

What Makes This Great

This decorative plate blends vintage charm with modern humor, making it a perfect piece for those who love to stand out. Whether as a conversation starter or a fun gift, this plate will bring personality and a touch of irreverence to your home decor.

HEADS UP, Fancy Pants…

The plate you’re drooling over in the photo? Yeah, that’s a sample. What you’ll get is the same killer design, but on a unique, one-of-a-kind plate from our stash. You’re welcome.

You Might Also Like

Overthinkers Annonymous Banner
Overthinkers Annonymous Banner
$50.00
E9F9BCF1-5534-4324-A337-09FDA8DC4AC3.jpeg E9F9BCF1-5534-4324-A337-09FDA8DC4AC3.jpeg
Serving it Up Straight
$50.00
Please Don't Ask Me How I'm Doing Because Idk Either Plate Ironic decorative plate with floral trim and text reading “Please don’t ask how I’m doing because idk either.”
Please Don't Ask Me How I'm Doing Because Idk Either Plate
$35.00
Quick Question Are You F*cking Kidding Me? Plate A vintage floral china plate featuring bold black text that reads, "quick question are you f***ing kidding me," contrasting traditional elegance with modern sarcasm. hilarious-satirical-plate.jpg
Quick Question Are You F*cking Kidding Me? Plate
$45.00
Hand-Painted Vine Candles White taper candles wrapped in hand-painted greenery; listing for set of 2 shown with four for style.
Hand-Painted Vine Candles
$50.00

Want more?

Need more?

Want more? Need more? Want more? Need more?

Subscribe to My Newsletter

I don’t even like sending emails, so there’s no way you’ll get spammed.

Thank you!

Jump on the rollercoaster of irony and self-deprecation

Follow me @KristinSimmonsArt

View fullsize
View fullsize
View fullsize Gravity works harder on wanderlust.
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#ksoriginalart #kristinsimmonsart #artandtravel #contemporarycollage #modernpopart #femalepopartist #artcollectorlife #galleryvibes #mixedmediaart #fineartdaily #artworldhype #collectorcurated #artsy
View fullsize Twin flames but make it celestial—burning ambition wrapped in Yves Klein blue and star-studded delusion.
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#ksoriginalart #kristinsimmonsart #popartdaily #artcollectorsofinstagram #boldandbright #contemporaryartist #colorfulart #ar
View fullsize Me pitching a floral install: “So imagine if your favorite childhood fairytale character took a Xanax and went to Coachella in couture…” 
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#ksoriginalart #kristinsimmonsart #floralinstallation #flowerartistry #floraldesi
View fullsize
View fullsize Dinner party RSVP: me, a fork, and the ghost of a 2003 Claire’s employee who whispers “accessorize or die” into my dreams.
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#ksoriginalart #kristinsimmonsart #artpop #visualfeast #jewelryart #y2kaesthetic #forkingfabul
View fullsize When your sneakers and the hyacinths are both extra—synergy.
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#ksoriginalart #kristinsimmonsart #purplevibes #hyacinthlove #purpleflowers #monochromelook #purpleeverything #sneakerart #floralinspo #colorcoordinated #artmeetsnature
View fullsize Shoutout to the original multitool in human form @kpsnyc 
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#ksoriginalart #kristinsimmonsart #mothersdayart #momlifebelike #strongmoms #momtribute #mothersdaygiftidea #popartmoments #artforher #modernmotherhood #mompower #thanksmom #cel
View fullsize Dear New York, I dressed up just for you—and no, I’m not taking it off.
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#ksoriginalart #kristinsimmonsart #newyorkart #colorpop #cityscapeart #urbanjungle #artcollectors #vibrantart #modernartcollector #artlovers #gallerywa
View fullsize Somewhere between a Monet painting and a midlife crisis.
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#ksoriginalart #kristinsimmonsart #waterlilypool #surrealwaterart #monetvibes #modernimpressionism #floralswimmer #lilypadlife #artandexistentialcrisis #artfullifecrisis #dreamyc
View fullsize At this point, a 48 hour hold in a psych unit is starting to sound like a great vacation opportunity 
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#ksoriginalart #kristinsimmonsart #popartdaily #contemporaryartist #artcollectors #boldart #modernpopart #artsy #gallerywalls #statem

Contact Privacy Terms

© Copyright 2025 Kristin Simmons Art. All Rights Reserved.