Skip to Content
Kristin Simmons Art
Home
Work
Fine Art
Collaborations
Commissions
Exhibitions
About
Artist Statement
Purpose Statement
CV
FAQs
Press
Articles
Podcasts
Testimonials
Videos
Shop
0
0
Kristin Simmons Art
Home
Work
Fine Art
Collaborations
Commissions
Exhibitions
About
Artist Statement
Purpose Statement
CV
FAQs
Press
Articles
Podcasts
Testimonials
Videos
Shop
0
0
Home
Folder: Work
Back
Fine Art
Collaborations
Commissions
Exhibitions
Folder: About
Back
Artist Statement
Purpose Statement
CV
FAQs
Folder: Press
Back
Articles
Podcasts
Testimonials
Videos
Shop
Shop I’ve Been Killing Them with Kindness When do They Die? Keychain
Trendy and sassy keychain with dark humor, ideal for witty everyday accessories. Image 1 of
Trendy and sassy keychain with dark humor, ideal for witty everyday accessories.
Trendy and sassy keychain with dark humor, ideal for witty everyday accessories.

I’ve Been Killing Them with Kindness When do They Die? Keychain

$20.00

Description:

Ah yes, the age-old question: how long does this whole "killing them with kindness" thing take? This retro motel-style keychain delivers the perfect dose of sarcasm with its bold black-and-white design. Ideal for those who love a little dark humor with their daily essentials, this key tag makes a hilariously edgy gift for friends, coworkers, or anyone who's mastered the art of passive aggression.

Features:

  • 🔑 Retro Motel Key Tag: A vintage-inspired keychain with a classic elongated design for a nostalgic touch.

  • 😂 Dark Humor at Its Finest: Features the hilarious phrase, "I've been killing them with kindness, when do they die?"

  • 🎁 Perfect Snarky Gift: Great for sarcastic friends, coworkers, or anyone who thrives on witty banter.

  • 🖤 Sleek & Durable: Made with sturdy acrylic and a bold, high-contrast design that won’t fade over time.

What Makes This Great:

This keychain is basically the perfect conversation starter—well, for those who appreciate humor as dry as a martini. Whether you're gifting it or keeping it for yourself, it's the ideal accessory for those who believe in being nice… but not too nice.

Quantity:
Add To Cart

Description:

Ah yes, the age-old question: how long does this whole "killing them with kindness" thing take? This retro motel-style keychain delivers the perfect dose of sarcasm with its bold black-and-white design. Ideal for those who love a little dark humor with their daily essentials, this key tag makes a hilariously edgy gift for friends, coworkers, or anyone who's mastered the art of passive aggression.

Features:

  • 🔑 Retro Motel Key Tag: A vintage-inspired keychain with a classic elongated design for a nostalgic touch.

  • 😂 Dark Humor at Its Finest: Features the hilarious phrase, "I've been killing them with kindness, when do they die?"

  • 🎁 Perfect Snarky Gift: Great for sarcastic friends, coworkers, or anyone who thrives on witty banter.

  • 🖤 Sleek & Durable: Made with sturdy acrylic and a bold, high-contrast design that won’t fade over time.

What Makes This Great:

This keychain is basically the perfect conversation starter—well, for those who appreciate humor as dry as a martini. Whether you're gifting it or keeping it for yourself, it's the ideal accessory for those who believe in being nice… but not too nice.

Description:

Ah yes, the age-old question: how long does this whole "killing them with kindness" thing take? This retro motel-style keychain delivers the perfect dose of sarcasm with its bold black-and-white design. Ideal for those who love a little dark humor with their daily essentials, this key tag makes a hilariously edgy gift for friends, coworkers, or anyone who's mastered the art of passive aggression.

Features:

  • 🔑 Retro Motel Key Tag: A vintage-inspired keychain with a classic elongated design for a nostalgic touch.

  • 😂 Dark Humor at Its Finest: Features the hilarious phrase, "I've been killing them with kindness, when do they die?"

  • 🎁 Perfect Snarky Gift: Great for sarcastic friends, coworkers, or anyone who thrives on witty banter.

  • 🖤 Sleek & Durable: Made with sturdy acrylic and a bold, high-contrast design that won’t fade over time.

What Makes This Great:

This keychain is basically the perfect conversation starter—well, for those who appreciate humor as dry as a martini. Whether you're gifting it or keeping it for yourself, it's the ideal accessory for those who believe in being nice… but not too nice.

You Might Also Like

Funny and edgy keychain with "What a Fcked Up Time to Be Alive" printed in blue. Funny and edgy keychain with "What a Fcked Up Time to Be Alive" printed in blue. Funny and edgy keychain with "What a Fcked Up Time to Be Alive" printed in blue.
What a F*cked Up Time to Be Alive Keychain
$20.00
I'll Unpack This Later in Therapy Luggage Tag therapeutic-flower-cartoon-luggage-tag-humor-therapy-art Large.jpeg Luggage tag with a whimsical flower and "I'll unpack this later in Therapy" slogan, on a desk next to a passport. Back of a white luggage tag showing space for personal information. A luggage tag with a cartoon flower and the text "I'll unpack this later in Therapy" hangs on a suitcase.
I'll Unpack This Later in Therapy Luggage Tag
$20.00
Divorced Parents Survivor Hat Black baseball cap with the text "divorced parents survivor" in white on the front. Male model wearing a black cap with "divorced parents survivor" written in white is looking to the side. An angled view of a black baseball cap with "divorced parents survivor" written in white text on the front.
Divorced Parents Survivor Hat
$35.00

Want more?

Need more?

Want more? Need more? Want more? Need more?

Subscribe to My Newsletter

I don’t even like sending emails, so there’s no way you’ll get spammed.

Thank you!

Jump on the rollercoaster of irony and self-deprecation

Follow me @KristinSimmonsArt

View fullsize
View fullsize Dinner party RSVP: me, a fork, and the ghost of a 2003 Claire’s employee who whispers “accessorize or die” into my dreams.
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#ksoriginalart #kristinsimmonsart #artpop #visualfeast #jewelryart #y2kaesthetic #forkingfabul
View fullsize When your sneakers and the hyacinths are both extra—synergy.
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#ksoriginalart #kristinsimmonsart #purplevibes #hyacinthlove #purpleflowers #monochromelook #purpleeverything #sneakerart #floralinspo #colorcoordinated #artmeetsnature
View fullsize Shoutout to the original multitool in human form @kpsnyc 
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#ksoriginalart #kristinsimmonsart #mothersdayart #momlifebelike #strongmoms #momtribute #mothersdaygiftidea #popartmoments #artforher #modernmotherhood #mompower #thanksmom #cel
View fullsize Dear New York, I dressed up just for you—and no, I’m not taking it off.
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#ksoriginalart #kristinsimmonsart #newyorkart #colorpop #cityscapeart #urbanjungle #artcollectors #vibrantart #modernartcollector #artlovers #gallerywa
View fullsize Somewhere between a Monet painting and a midlife crisis.
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#ksoriginalart #kristinsimmonsart #waterlilypool #surrealwaterart #monetvibes #modernimpressionism #floralswimmer #lilypadlife #artandexistentialcrisis #artfullifecrisis #dreamyc
View fullsize At this point, a 48 hour hold in a psych unit is starting to sound like a great vacation opportunity 
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#ksoriginalart #kristinsimmonsart #popartdaily #contemporaryartist #artcollectors #boldart #modernpopart #artsy #gallerywalls #statem
View fullsize
View fullsize
View fullsize My artwork: years of work, passion, and effort. My face: genetics and decent lighting. Guess which one Instagram prefers. No, really—guess.
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#ksoriginalart #kristinsimmonsart #artvsalgorithm #prioritiesplease #socialmediaproblems
View fullsize Swiftly back to high school, but this time with more eyeliner and less homework.
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#ksoriginalart #kristinsimmonsart #retroaesthetic #throwbackvibes #highschoolnostalgia #taylorswiftedit #vintagevibes #musicmeetsart #aestheticmood #album
View fullsize A chaotic-yet-chic still life that says, ‘I’m sophisticated but also mildly unhinged.’
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
#ksoriginalart #kristinsimmonsart #stilllifeart #modernpainting #boldcolors #artcollector #contemporaryart #floralart #interiordes

Contact Privacy Terms

© Copyright 2025 Kristin Simmons Art. All Rights Reserved.